My Big Fat Engagement – Engagement Advice & Warnings

It’s not for everyone, but here are some ideas for:

A Wedding That Walks on the Dark Side

Think skulls, black and other dark colors, and draw inspiration from The Day of the Dead, Halloween, and For more subtle ways to incorporate the color black into your wedding, please read next week’s article; “Black Tie Weddings“.

Here are some tips if you are going to the dark side:

Keep It Simple:

Restrict the decorations to one color and one or two images and stick with them, unless you want your wedding to look like a Halloween party. For example, you might select white skulls on a white backdrop for an elegant yet eerie look. Or black spiders on a black background would work well. Even better just use a spider web design, and leave the spiders out of the picture.

Go Crazy:

Or you can do the exact opposite and use every color out there. Use the rich vibrant palette of the Day of the Dead art as inspiration. Again, you might want to keep yourself to one or two images, but you can repeat them everywhere (a skull and a cross would work well, or a top hat and a fan). Colorfully printed fans would make great wedding favors and table decorations for the female guests. A cigar or a red boutonniere would be a nice gift for the men.

Til Death Do Us Part

If you’re a fan of the Day of the Dead (or just skulls), these custom-wrapped chocolate bars would be killer. You can order them from ChulaMichelle on Etsy.

Here Tooth-Decay, Gone Tomorrow

Here’s the perfect decoration for an engagement party near Halloween (or any time, if you have a sweet tooth). Also a fun way to display and offer a variety of sweet wedding favors. This candy cake is available from cookiepots.com at a very reasonable price. At less than $40 each, you could use them as table centerpieces in the place of flowers and wedding favors (which would easily add up to more than this price).

For Better or For Hearse

Cool wedding cake topper crafted by self-described ‘mantastic crafter’ Patrick Murillo.

For Richer For Gorier

This colorful skull cake is from bake me a cake.

Here’s another cake made by tiffanysbakingco.com – a hearse groom’s cake, but also could work as a wedding cake as well. Of course, it would be perfect for the wedding re-HEARSE-al (MWA Ha ha ha ha). Also, check out their traditional wedding cakes – delicious and beautiful looking!

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Last week we looked at some fun prizes/gifts for Bachelorette parties and Bridal Showers. This week we feature gift ideas for the guys…

Most of the gifts featured in both of these articles would work well for a Jack and Jill party, too.

The Portable Pole Dancer

Available online at stupid.com, you plug her into your USB port and watch her dance. She also works with an iPod or MP3 player.

BBQ Sauces

You can buy a gift set of barbecue sauces or make your own gift basket, perfect for a bachelor party or jack and jill shower – particularly if the party theme includes grilling. Include tasty bottles of barbecue sauce, hot sauce, and an oven mitt. Stick with the theme and give out a funny apron as another prize.

Cultural Kitsch

Celebrate the groom’s cultural background with fun gifts, just make sure it’s not offensive.

This tee from wackyplanet.com is also the perfectly embarrassing shirt to force the groom to wear out on a pub crawl to Irish pubs!

Jack and Jill party? No problem! They also sell this shirt for the bride to wear.

This book from bachelorette.com is a fun gift, and will also keep the guests entertained during the event – I’m sure it will be passed around.

On a classier note, this sterling silver key ring from danforthdiamond.com is a great grand prize for a group fishing trip. It would also be a great gift from the guys as a memento for the groom of his bachelor party trip.

Fun badges for all of the party guests, available at the-inspirations-store. They also have some other appropriate items, such as collapsible pint glasses, talking coasters, and beer holsters.

These drink coasters from elsewares.com are made from real vinyl records and are perfect for a music lover’s party or a themed party.

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Here are some ideas for party gifts and prizes. Check out the next post for prizes and gifts suitable for Bachelor Parties (Stag parties).

TASTY PRIZES

Big Candy Ring

A big candy engagement ring is tasty bling for a bridal shower or casual engagement party. You can order the one pictured above at kidspartyfavorstore.com.

Novelty Chocolates

Tom and Sally’s Handmade Chocolates (tomandsallys.com) sells chocolate pasties, as well as chocolate thong underwear. The pasties also come with a peanut butter applicator, which I thought was a nice touch.

CLASSY PRIZES

Bracelet

Here’s an amazing grand prize if you are holding a pre-wedding fundraiser. This tiffany-style sterling silver bracelet looks like it is worth a lot more than its $50 price tag and would make a great door prize or grand prize. The heart charm fits into any wedding-related theme.

Charm

Another fun idea – give prizes away at the wedding rehearsal dinner related to the pre-wedding events. This is a fun speech to make at a rehearsal dinner (this is only appropriate if it suits the tone and if everyone there has a sense of humor!). The person acting as the Master of Ceremonies at the wedding reception can give away prizes to members of the wedding party at the rehearsal dinner. For example, he could give the groom a pair of warm woolly socks in case he gets cold feet.  In the example above, an angel charm would be appropriate for the most well-behaved guest at the bachelorette party. The MC could show the prize and say what it was for but then complain that there wasn’t anyone to give it to. Instead, he could give it to the flower girl. This is also a unique and fun way to hand out the wedding party gifts.

Spa Gift Certificate

A spa gift certificate is always appreciated. Everyone likes to get a manicure before the big day, even if they are a guest and not the bride.

FUNNY PRIZES

Magic Frog to a Prince

You can order this cute party gift at stupid.com.

Man Voodoo Doll

Pictured above, the ‘bad boyfriend’ voodooo doll from flashwear.com – complete with 10 pins.

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Personalized chocolate is a great way to share good news, whether it’s an engagement or wedding announcement or just announcing where someone is supposed to sit at a table…

Chocolate Diamonds

Make some chocolate jewels for a stagette or bridal shower, using this mold from cookiecutter.com. A great excuse for the bride to be to show off her engagement ring!

Design Your Own

You can create your own signature chocolate at chocri.com. How does a chocolate bar with dried cranberries and banana chips sound? Or perhaps one with gummy bears or jalapenos? All possible… “more than 10 billion possible combinations” according to their website.

Killer Copy Cats

Make your own deluxe versions of popular chocolate bars using the recipes at chow.com. This is a great way to spruce-up a snack for the bride and groom with a sweet tooth.

Personalized Wrappers

Order chocolate with personalized wrappers like these funky options from beau-coup.com. They offer classy kosher Belgium chocolate. You can also find online tutorials to help you print your own wrappers, allowing you to wrap your favorite brand of chocolate bar. My friend ordered personalized Nestle Crunch bars for her wedding, I tried to keep it as a keepsake but it didn’t last long – I think I ate it that night!

Handcrafted Squares

These personalized wedding favors from chocolate.com would also work well for an engagement party (note: the minimum order is 100).

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Attention: Brides to Be – Boxing Day is just a few days away!

Many stores now hold Boxing Day sales for a week. Online stores also have sales. This is the perfect opportunity to stock up on all of the things you will need for your wedding. Get a jump start on your wedding planning and save money.

Tips for Wedding Shopping on Boxing Day

Prepared to Shop?

Taking advantage of Boxing Day to ease your wedding budget makes sense as long as you already have a clear idea of what your wedding will be like. It doesn’t matter how far off your wedding is, you can start shopping if your wedding party has been selected and you know the size of your guest list.

It is also a fantastic time to shop for wedding rings – you can buy some beautiful wedding bands and engagement rings for reasonable prices at this time of  year. While you’re out there shopping, don’t forget to watch for gifts for your wedding party as well!

Wedding Colors

The more flexible you are, the more you save. If you are willing to select your colors based on what is available at a low price, you will save more money. If your wedding colors are popular then there will be more choices available to you, at lower prices.

Wedding Theme

Select your wedding theme from the wedding supplies available and you will save money.

Ideas – What Brides to Be Should Buy on Boxing Day

Wedding Time Capsule

A wedding time capsule is a great way to collect memories of your special day and then revisit them on an anniversary. You can order this time capsule at giftsnideas.com. Couponcodes4u says they are offering 15% all orders after Christmas (sale ends December 30).

Wedding Dress

Many bridal shops have Christmas and Boxing Day sales – this is the perfect time to get your dress! For example, if you buy your dress from bridalsbay.com during their boxing day sale, you can get dresses up to 75% off their list price. Check local stores in your city for big sales, too.

bridalsbay.com

Wedding Stationery

Everything at Mujka.ca is 50% off for Boxing Day – a site that sells templates you can buy to create your own wedding stationery (the invitation, rsvp card, thanks you card, reception card). A very reasonably-priced way to jump start your DIY wedding project!

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New Years Eve isn’t very far away – time to think about your resolutions. If you’re engaged, New Years Eve is the perfect catalyst for a relaxed and optimistic conversation about your future, so here are some New Years Resolutions For Your Marriage.

Hold Hands and Dream Big

Engaged couples spend a lot of time looking forward to their wedding and spending the rest of their lives together. This New Years Eve, make the following resolutions to help keep your marrriage happy.

1. Always Kiss Each Other Good Bye

Whether you’re on your way to work in the morning, or just stepping out to pick up some milk- take a moment to go over and say goodbye to your partner and give them a kiss.

2. Don’t Expect Perfection

Let’s face it, sometimes your Prince is going resemble a Frog; and sometimes your Princess is going to seem more like the Evil Queen… No matter how head over heels you are right now, it’s wise to keep in mind you are not actually marrying a perfect person. Marriage is not all or nothing – it’s success can’t be based on unreal expectations or ultimatums. A long marriage is based on mutual understanding, respect, and forgiveness. Truthfully, sometimes your mate will annoy the heck out of you! So just remember you don’t have to like him or her all the time, you just have to love them.

3. Promise To Support Each Other

bbc.co.uk

I’m not talking about financial support – although, sometimes this also comes into play. Most basically, I mean that when your partner talks about something he or she is passionate about – you actually listen. It doesn’t cost you a thing and the effect it has on your ‘other half’ and your life together is priceless. Also, if he or she wants to (take piano lessons, join a hockey team, enter a haiku contest, ride her bike across the country) you do what it takes to make it happen (watch the kids, put money aside, round up  all of your friends) and then when it happens you’re in the first row, cheering him or her on.

Did I miss anything?

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Last post, we gave you some proposal ideas for Christmas. Here are some ornaments to consider for the tree this year if she has already said yes.

Christmas Ornaments for Engaged Couples

Here’s a gift for your bride or husband-to-be to commemorate that moment when the engagement ring came out and the question was popped! You can hang it on your tree every year and remember those romantic exciting months when you were engaged to be married. Consider making it the first ornament in a tradition for your new family unit: add a new ornament to your tree each year to celebrate a special memory (first house, new baby, new pet, special visit from relatives, new job, graduation, move to another city, etc).

Here is a beautiful Christmas gift for your fiance – a collection of wedding ornaments with a personalized certificate. These ornaments from ornamentshop.com have a vintage look which makes them even more romantic.

Here is another classic looking ornament made from glass (also from ornamentshop.com).

ornamentshop.com

Did you buy that engagement ring at Tiffany’s? If so, your fiance can follow his purchase up with this ornament – the iconic blue gift box will always remind you to look down at the big rock on your finger and smile!

Here’s an ornament that you can personalize – available at personalizedfree.com. You can add your names (as pictured, below) and personalize the banner to say “Engaged!”  The banner message is up to you – you could even have it say “Will You Marry Me?” and use it to propose!

Another personalized option, this time from santasornamentshop.com.

Another great choice from ornamentshop.com: make sure you get a photo of your proposal and then remember it always in an ornament picture frame!

For more big fat advice, please read “Proposal Tips for Men and Christmas Proposals” and Christmas Gift Ideas for Newlyweds. Or, join us next week for a selection of Christmas ornaments to celebrate your engagement!

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Christmas can be very romantic: perhaps it’s all of the twinkling lights, the music, the good food, the cozy fireplaces… it all adds up to a perfect setting for a wedding proposal! Here are some ideas…

The Brightest Light On The Tree

Preparation: Hang the ring with a round ornament (string it through the hanger so that it rests on top of the ornament).

Proposal: Admire the tree together and ask her which ornament is her favorite. When it’s your turn, point out the one with the ring on it and wait for her to notice… when she does: drop to one knee!

Decoration Declarations

Ornament Sneak Attack

Preparation: If you already live together, sneak a “just married” ornament into your collection.

Proposal: Decorate the tree together and let her pick the new ornament up and wonder, “how did this get in here?” Don’t let her put it on the tree until she’s put your ring on her finger!

Just DIY Do It

Preparation: Paint ‘Will You Marry Me?’ on a glass ornament.

Proposal: Decorate a tree together and make sure she hangs this one up. Even better: get a group involved and make sure everyone else knows to let her pick up the proposal ornament!

I found this ‘will you marry me’ ornament for sale online if you’re not crafty…

Love Is Like a Box of Chocolates

Preparation: Remove one chocolate from a fancy box of chocolates and replace with the engagement ring instead. Set the stage: wrap the box and add a big bow (some candy stores offer this service) – make sure you send the message that this is not just any ordinary box of chocolates!

Proposal: Watch closely, she’ll see the ring and then look up at you – be ready to drop to one knee and ask her to be your wife!

Stocking Stuffer

Of course, if you spend Christmas morning together you can put the ring at the bottom of her stocking. Or, even better – put a pair of diamond earrings at the bottom of the stocking! While she’s still freaking out over the earrings, get on your knee, whip out the ring, and say “I was hoping they would go with this!” An engagement ring shouldn’t count as her Christmas present, after all – so the diamonds are a nice touch!

For more big fat advice, please read “Proposal Tips for Men and Christmas Proposals” and Christmas Gift Ideas for Newlyweds. Or, join us next week for a selection of Christmas ornaments to celebrate your engagement!

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A recent comment on an old post, ‘Worried About His Bachelor Party?’ inspired today’s post.

Well, Stargazer thank you for taking this article so seriously and taking the time to respond. However, I would like to point out that there are confident, smart women out there who are a bit nervous about the stag party because things can happen. For example I know someone who got slapped in the face with a trout on a fishing trip and showed up at his wedding with two black eyes. Drinks are involved and guests get over exuberant.

A bride to be who is worried that her husband might show up to the wedding with two black eyes is not plagued by low self esteem, she just doesn’t want anything to ruin her big day.

I can think of lots of reasons why she might not want to ’set ground rules’ or to forbid specific activities and then ask him (and his friends) to respect her feelings. I think healthy relationships should include mature conversations and mutual decisions. And, if that isn’t going to work, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with offering subtle suggestions or guidance to your partner (man or woman) because sometimes that just makes life easier than say, ordering them around. It’s good preparation for a long and peaceful marriage.

By the way, I’d also like to remind any readers out there that a mature and productive debate about a topic should also not include statements like your ideas are “ridiculous”, “get real”, or your ideas are “just plain stupid” – so if you’re going to talk to your guy about his bachelor party, stay away from this kind of language. People are less likely to want to cooperate with you, or listen to your perspective if your tone is condescending or you include insults or name-calling. If someone talked to me that way, I certainly wouldn’t marry them!

And, also, there are definitely places too remote for a stripper – unless they are willing to hike 15 miles into a campsite or kayak down a river with you. Perhaps Stargazer exaggerated for effect (which is very much in the spirit of my original article, so good one!).

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1. What religion are you?

Seriously – this is important because, even if your partner is currently ‘non-practising’, religion can become a big deal where wedding ceremonies, children, and marriage relationships are concerned.

2. How many kids are we going to have?

None? One? Eighteen (and counting!)? Also, you should discuss options in case it turns out you can not conceive the old-fashioned way. In Vitro? Adoption? You might be surprised at your partner’s answers to these questions – better to be surprised before you walk down the aisle…

3. How much money will we have as a couple?

(Or, worse, how much money will we owe?)

You don’t want to find out that you just married a huge amount of debt – or, at least, you want to be prepared ahead of time!

4. Does family play an important role in your life?

How often are you going to spend time with your inlaws? If they are long distance – how often will you be traveling to visit – or how often will they be visiting you? What is their financial situation like? (Will you be supporting them financially in any way in the foreseeable future?) Does your partner expect that his parents will move in with you when they need to be cared for? (If you have these same expectations about your parents, your house could get very crowded!)

5. How do you see us in 5 – 10- 20 years?

Does your partner want to change careers or go back to school? Does your partner want to travel the world after retirement or sit in a rocking chair on a front porch? Is your partner going to stay active or is your partner ready to settle down, put on 20 pounds, and relax after the wedding? Is your partner going to expect you to relocate to a different city (or country) to pursue his or her career? (Or, is your partner willing to do this for you?)

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