My Big Fat Engagement – Engagement Advice & Warnings

WaterFALL in love

You can rent a waterfall to add some ambience to your reception, or you can go wild and rent a rock climbing wall with a waterfall obstacle from a company like the funones.com, based out of Chicago.

This more subdued version of a waterfall for your wedding could include your initials or the first names of the bride and groom (available at gigis-party-rentals.com, Florida).

Waterfall with logo or initials

Tropic Thunder

When it comes to wedding planning, you always have a choice: you can go for the understated or you can go ‘big.’ In this case, you can rent ferns or you can rent a giant palm tree (or several giant palm trees!). Plantman.com provides “extravagant jungle tropics rental to the San Francisco and Los Angeles Areas” for as low as $750. Imagine a nine foot waterfall, a pebble bottom lagoon, fern-filled jungle grottos, a 16′ palm tree, and lush moss-covered rocks with ivy”.

For Beach, er, or For Worse

If the sun and surf are your definition of wild times, consider bringing the beach inside for your reception.

Or, if you anticipate that your  wedding reception will be a walk on the wild side, rent a surf machine and your guests can ride the waves without even getting wet! (Deluxe Big Wave Surf Machine from bigfunuk.info.)

Elegant Ring or Wild Bling

Both extremes may appeal to you – the subdued elegant wedding or the crazy, fun wedding- but what is the best fit for you as a couple? This is a day that you will remember for the rest of your life and it should symbolize everything about you as a couple. Are you more likely to go out for a fancy meal on a date, or are you more likely to go bungee jumping? What are you interests? One great way to establish the tone for your wedding: look at the engagement ring. The groom-to-be (hopefully) put a lot of thought into the ring when he picked it out – and (also hopefully) the bride loves it.

If the engagement ring is an impressive, but simply-designed and elegant solitaire – an elegant and tasteful wedding is best for you.

If the ring is bold and beautiful like this yellow gold engagement ring with a flower and petal design along the top and sides, then you probably have already arranged for live tropical birds and a waterfall for your reception!

For more ideas for wild weddings, check out this series:

Wet and Wild

Welcome to the Jungle

Wild Flowers

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This week we continue our feature of MOB fashions for Summer and Fall.

Check out Part 1 for Winter and Spring fashions for MOBs. For even more MOB stories, please check out our previous feature, ‘Mob Stories: Mother of the Bride,’ which includes tips, etiquette, and dresses.

Summer

The Mother of the Bride doesn’t have to dress in the most conservative matronly outfit she can find. The important thing is to not come across like you are trying to upstage the bride.

You can still look flashy without stealing your daughter/daughter-in-law’s thunder.

This dress from lechicboutique.co.uk is a great example of an attractive and elegant outfit for the mother of the bride. Let your accessories follow the current trends – wear several gold bracelets and drop diamond earrings, but choose yellow gold for a timeless elegance that brings out the tone of the yellow dress. The perfect choice if the bride is carrying a bouquet of pale yellow roses, like the one below from hollychappleflowers.

Fall

A deep vibrant blue like this dress from TheRoseDress.com is a great c0lor for a Fall wedding (and actually would be an excellent choice for a Summer wedding, too, with different accessories!). Let the wedding colors inspire your accessories. For example, if the bridesmaids are wearing dresses in a deep gem tone (perfect for Fall), treat yourself to a matching gem! Moms deserve to be spoiled for all their hard work, right? Shoes are a very important part of your outfit, so don’t forget to buy some new, ultra-luxurious shoes for the occasion, like the silver satin wrap shoes below, available at weddingaccessories.net.

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It’s been a year since we addressed the topic of Mother of the Bride style here at mybigfatenagement, so here are some great looks for anytime of year (I thought I’d pick a look for each season since MOB’s like to plan ahead). This week we will feature MOB fashions for Winter and Spring. Next time, we will look at Summer and Fall…

For more MOB stories, please check out our previous feature, ‘Mob Stories: Mother of the Bride,’ which includes tips, etiquette, and dresses.

Winter

If you can get past the young model wearing this dress, you will see that it is a very good mother of the bride or mother of the groom dress. The lacy long sleeved top is attractive and many women like to keep their arms covered after they reach a certain age (to conceal wrinkles, tattoos, or ‘bingo wings’). The shade of purple below would like nice with some blues or greens (even a pale blue or forest green would like nice with this purple). (Bouquet from 4everflorals.com.)

Spring

This cute suit from Jones New York would work well for a Spring (or a Fall actually) wedding. This color would be a nice fit if the bridesmaids are wearing pink or light green dresses. (Button from buttonemporium.com, bouquet from beyondblossoms.com).

Whatever the season and the wedding colors, it is important to communicate with the bride and any other MOBs involved. This is the best guarantee that you will fit in to the wedding photos, get along with y0ur new family members, and feel comfortable during this important event. Be flexible – there is always a shade that will look good on you that works with the wedding colors. In most cases, it is not appropriate to wear the exact same color as the bride or the bridesmaids (unless the bride want you to, of course). Darker or subdued shades are best (stay away from bright colors or, worse, bright prints).

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We Love Hearing From Our Readers!

After reading “Unique Ways To Announce Your Engagement,” Amanda shared how she announced her engagement to her mom:

My boyfriend proposed via a [pictogram], so I sent a picture of the [it] to my mom by email and asked her if she could figure out the riddle. When she couldn’t, I sent a picture of my ring and told her that the picture might help her figure it out. She did.

We asked Amanda to send us a copy of the cryptogram. Here it is:

Pictogram Proposal

“Will you marry me?”

Amanda’s boyfriend took his best (screen)shot and she said “Yes.” Congratulations Amanda and Aaron! Who knew a computer could be so romantic? You two make such a cute couple!

Is He Speaking in Code?

Communication is so important in relationships, but sometimes it’s fun to use code. It can be very exciting to try to decipher a coded message, particularly when it has such a happy message. Sure, you can just get down on one knee and propose in short, clearly posed proposal (“Will You Marry Me?”) but why not make it your own unique memory?

Big Fat Ideas

Here are some of our own big fat ideas for how you can make your wedding proposal unique with codes and puzzles.

Please Mr. Postman – Letter Jumble

Cut out the letters for Will You Marry Me and then mix them up. Mail a few letters inside an envelope each day. Once your intended receives all of the letters they can start to rearrange them to decipher the message (they will probably start trying earlier, so keep this in mind when you decide which letters to send).

Another great idea: include some extras in each envelope – perhaps mementos of your time as a couple.

Crossword Question

If your special woman (or man) is into crosswords, you could make your own and have all of the answers relate to your couple-dom. You can do this yourself (use a program like Excel or an online program) or order online from a company like romancebetweenthelines.com.

Big Fat Examples

Are You In A Love HTML Relationship?

Here is one good example of a time when you are HAPPY that he is speaking to you in code (HTML code, that is…) The creators of the webcomic The Joy of Tech agree to use their powers for good by helping one of their readers propose to his girlfriend (click here to see the comic).

Image: Nitrozac and Snaggy, Joy of Tech, geekculture.com

Geek Love

In another example, perlmonks.org user Falkkin posts this:

Thirteen minutes later, user Vortacist replies with “Yes! ”

Spell It Out For Me

Not really ‘code,’ but this Wisconsin Marquette University student still gets an ‘A’ for effort.

We Want To Hear From You!

What do you think? Do you have an interesting story about that engagement ring on your finger?

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Traditionally, at some point during the engagement, the bride’s friends dress her up in a silly costume and then parade her around the town.

This usually happens during the bachelorette party (also called a stagette or hen party).

Costumes for the bride to be range from cool, to cute, to very bold (and actually pretty trashy!):

Pink Ladies

Get inspired by the movie Grease and dress up as the Pink Ladies!  You can buy the jackets at costume stores. Costumeddiscounters.com even offers complete costumes for the different characters, Rizzo shown below:

Start the night off with some pink lady cocktails and 50′s themed appetizers and then cruise the main drag of your town in a rented 50′s car (with designated, sober, driver). End the night off with a pajama party and karaoke sing along to the Grease soundtrack.

Bad Girl Bride

Here is a cute head band from buycostumes.com that lets everyone know she’s the bride!

Flashy Bride

This tiara from planetbachelorette.com has flashing lights in red, green, and yellow.

Check out our previous post “Prize Ideas for Bachelorettes and Bridal Showers” for some fun party favor ideas for the event.

Getting Hitched

A sexy cowgirl theme is also a great way to round up some fun! You can get this hat from buycostumes.com.

The bride to be can wear a white hat that you decorate with a veil and the rest of the girls can wear pink cowboy hats. Don’t forget a holster so that you are ready to sling some shots, like this one from promo-wholesale.com!

Perhaps a lasso so that you can reign in her in if she really starts kicking up her heels? Or you can use it to rope your own cowboy!

Top off the night with a memento that she will have to remember your fun night out long after she is hitched- like this sterling silver lariat necklace.

Disco Queens

If your bride to be has a sense of humor, here’s an inexpensive way from halloweencostume.com to make your group stand out in the crowd!

Encourage everyone to dress in 70′s style clothing. You can be silly and sexy at the same time (think high boots, mini skirts, oversized sunglasses…). Present the guest of honor with this disco ball inspired necklace: it’s subtle enough to wear every day and sure to put a smile on her face when she remembers the good times she had on her night out! Priced under $40, everyone might want to buy one as a memento.

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Spring has been celebrated all over the world, in all types of religions – as far back as you can imagine. When the sun starts shining, the ground under our feet heats up, and the new tender greenery pokes through – it’s hard NOT to get all warm and fuzzy. If that’s not enough to cheer you up, you also have really cute little baby animals like chicks and lambs.

Here are some ideas for how to celebrate your wedding the old-fashioned way (and by old-fashioned, I mean pre-medieval!)

Handfasting

Handfasting is a wedding rite that originates from a pagan ritual, but is being used in weddings based in all sorts of faiths and by people of all different lifestyles. Handfasting is a great way to bond a blended family together, because all members of the new family forged by the wedding can participate. Check out handfasting.info for more information, as well as examples of wording for ceremonies that include handfasting.

Symbols

Oak Leaves

Oak leaves are a symbol for longevity – so the entwined oak leaves that hold two mouth-blown (and therefore completely unique) glass horns are the perfect way for the bride and groom to share a toast (mayhemltd.com). The oak tree was particularly important to the Celts,who felt that all trees were sacred.

Horns

The drinking chalices above are also horn-shaped. The horns are also an important symbol – the most famous Celtic animal symbol is the horned (antlered) stag. The stag is a symbol for sexuality and fertility.

Celtic Design

Celtic knots date back to almost 500 AD: there is the lover’s knot, the triple knot (Triquetra), and the Triscele.There are many ways to incorporate the Celtic scrollwork or Celtic knots into your wedding, including your wedding band.

Clothing

There are beautiful dresses available now that this type of wedding has become more popular. Rivendelbridal.com has a large selection, here is one example of a dress perfect for a pagan princess, or elven queen: it is called the Celtic Star.

Trees

Trees were sacred to the Celts so an outdoor wedding would be very appropriate if you are going to be influenced by this theme.

Here is a video full of imagery that might inspire you to arrange your own mystical wedding.

Language

This bronze pendant spells GRA, ‘love’, in the Celtric tree alphabet called Ogham. This pendant from celteshop.com would be an interesting and thoughtul gift for members of the wedding party.

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Here are some fun ideas for your bachelor party, bachelorette, bridal shower, engagement party, or jack and jill.

I come across so many Big Fat Fun decorations during my research. Here are some of my favorites, I hope they inspire you to come up with some unique ideas of your own! Let me know, and perhaps I can feature your party in an upcoming article.

Disclaimer: Not all items below will be appropriate for your function – this will depend on your theme, and how casual the event is.

Nosy Guests

Party cups from worldwidefred.com, that give you different noses. This is a fun way to break the ice.

Highlight of the Night

These shot glasses from envious.com light up for 6 seconds every time  you tap it on a hard surface.

Night Lights

Rather than the risk of making a decorated room look to ‘busy’, stick to one simple decoration and use a lot of it. Imagine filling a room or back garden with 25 of these lights from asianlantern.com (at around two dollars each, this is affordable!).

Casino Night

Here is a fun hanging decoration from partymakerdiscountsuperstore.com for a Casino-themed Jack and Jill or Bachelor Party. This would even work for a reception if the couple is going to announce they got married in Las Vegas!

Love Beyond Measure

I love these measuring spoons – a great favor for a bridal shower or a wedding (if the bride and groom work in a bakery?). You can order them from everythingfortablefavors.com.

Gloom Groom

This shirt from thinkgeek.com is perfect for the groom who wakes up on the surly side of the street every morning. If there’s no chance you’ll get him to wear a costume, dirty saying shirt, or anything that remotely identifies him as the guest of honor – have him try this shirt on for size!

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Black is the new White?

Black doesn’t have to be dark (see our earlier article about darker-themed weddings if that’s what you are looking for.). In the old days, black might have been a big “don’t” on the day you say “I do” but now it’s okay. More than okay, actually – black details on the big day can be brilliant. And, even better, when you incorporate the unusual into your wedding day, you often don’t have to buy it at a wedding store -making things much cheaper.

Here is an elegant cake from sedonaweddingcakes.com. The stylistic wedding cake topper is very classy and the black sugar roses are a nice touch. This cake would coordinate well with tables decorated with crisp white linens and black cloth napkins with white polka dots. This is another way to save money – some venues include white linens in their rental fee. If not, party rental companies usually charge less for white linens than for the colored specialty linens. If you are handy with a sewing machine, you can sew the cloth napkins your self. Don’t forget to launder them and iron them before the big day – a perfect job to delegate to a helpful friend, auntie, or even grandmother.

Wear something a bit racy under that demure white dress, like this black garter available from bachelorettesuperstore.com.

Your engagement ring or wedding ring could tie in to the color scheme as well, like this ring featuring black and white diamonds.

Or, wear some dark shoes and gloves with your dress for contrast! You could also add these accessories for the reception, particularly if you are having the event in the evening.

For example, here is a beautiful Alfred Angelo dress that would be perfect for a church wedding.

And here are some items to glam it up afterwards!

Black Shoes

Long Black Gloves

Like these ones from buycostumes.com.

A fascinating fascinator from folksy.com.

All of the ideas in this article would work for any color – imagine red as an accent instead of black. A little black purse would work, too (a bride needs somewhere to stash her lipstick too). A beaded drawstring purse would look great with the accessories above, perhaps a vintage purse – a great gift idea for the maid of honor to give to her best friend!

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It’s not for everyone, but here are some ideas for:

A Wedding That Walks on the Dark Side

Think skulls, black and other dark colors, and draw inspiration from The Day of the Dead, Halloween, and For more subtle ways to incorporate the color black into your wedding, please read next week’s article; “Black Tie Weddings“.

Here are some tips if you are going to the dark side:

Keep It Simple:

Restrict the decorations to one color and one or two images and stick with them, unless you want your wedding to look like a Halloween party. For example, you might select white skulls on a white backdrop for an elegant yet eerie look. Or black spiders on a black background would work well. Even better just use a spider web design, and leave the spiders out of the picture.

Go Crazy:

Or you can do the exact opposite and use every color out there. Use the rich vibrant palette of the Day of the Dead art as inspiration. Again, you might want to keep yourself to one or two images, but you can repeat them everywhere (a skull and a cross would work well, or a top hat and a fan). Colorfully printed fans would make great wedding favors and table decorations for the female guests. A cigar or a red boutonniere would be a nice gift for the men.

Til Death Do Us Part

If you’re a fan of the Day of the Dead (or just skulls), these custom-wrapped chocolate bars would be killer. You can order them from ChulaMichelle on Etsy.

Here Tooth-Decay, Gone Tomorrow

Here’s the perfect decoration for an engagement party near Halloween (or any time, if you have a sweet tooth). Also a fun way to display and offer a variety of sweet wedding favors. This candy cake is available from cookiepots.com at a very reasonable price. At less than $40 each, you could use them as table centerpieces in the place of flowers and wedding favors (which would easily add up to more than this price).

For Better or For Hearse

Cool wedding cake topper crafted by self-described ‘mantastic crafter’ Patrick Murillo.

For Richer For Gorier

This colorful skull cake is from bake me a cake.

Here’s another cake made by tiffanysbakingco.com – a hearse groom’s cake, but also could work as a wedding cake as well. Of course, it would be perfect for the wedding re-HEARSE-al (MWA Ha ha ha ha). Also, check out their traditional wedding cakes – delicious and beautiful looking!

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Last week we looked at some fun prizes/gifts for Bachelorette parties and Bridal Showers. This week we feature gift ideas for the guys…

Most of the gifts featured in both of these articles would work well for a Jack and Jill party, too.

The Portable Pole Dancer

Available online at stupid.com, you plug her into your USB port and watch her dance. She also works with an iPod or MP3 player.

BBQ Sauces

You can buy a gift set of barbecue sauces or make your own gift basket, perfect for a bachelor party or jack and jill shower – particularly if the party theme includes grilling. Include tasty bottles of barbecue sauce, hot sauce, and an oven mitt. Stick with the theme and give out a funny apron as another prize.

Cultural Kitsch

Celebrate the groom’s cultural background with fun gifts, just make sure it’s not offensive.

This tee from wackyplanet.com is also the perfectly embarrassing shirt to force the groom to wear out on a pub crawl to Irish pubs!

Jack and Jill party? No problem! They also sell this shirt for the bride to wear.

This book from bachelorette.com is a fun gift, and will also keep the guests entertained during the event – I’m sure it will be passed around.

On a classier note, this sterling silver key ring from danforthdiamond.com is a great grand prize for a group fishing trip. It would also be a great gift from the guys as a memento for the groom of his bachelor party trip.

Fun badges for all of the party guests, available at the-inspirations-store. They also have some other appropriate items, such as collapsible pint glasses, talking coasters, and beer holsters.

These drink coasters from elsewares.com are made from real vinyl records and are perfect for a music lover’s party or a themed party.

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