Traditionally, at some point during the engagement, the bride’s friends dress her up in a silly costume and then parade her around the town.

This usually happens during the bachelorette party (also called a stagette or hen party).

Costumes for the bride to be range from cool, to cute, to very bold (and actually pretty trashy!):

Pink Ladies

Get inspired by the movie Grease and dress up as the Pink Ladies!  You can buy the jackets at costume stores. Costumeddiscounters.com even offers complete costumes for the different characters, Rizzo shown below:

Start the night off with some pink lady cocktails and 50′s themed appetizers and then cruise the main drag of your town in a rented 50′s car (with designated, sober, driver). End the night off with a pajama party and karaoke sing along to the Grease soundtrack.

Bad Girl Bride

Here is a cute head band from buycostumes.com that lets everyone know she’s the bride!

Flashy Bride

This tiara from planetbachelorette.com has flashing lights in red, green, and yellow.

Check out our previous post “Prize Ideas for Bachelorettes and Bridal Showers” for some fun party favor ideas for the event.

Getting Hitched

A sexy cowgirl theme is also a great way to round up some fun! You can get this hat from buycostumes.com.

The bride to be can wear a white hat that you decorate with a veil and the rest of the girls can wear pink cowboy hats. Don’t forget a holster so that you are ready to sling some shots, like this one from promo-wholesale.com!

Perhaps a lasso so that you can reign in her in if she really starts kicking up her heels? Or you can use it to rope your own cowboy!

Top off the night with a memento that she will have to remember your fun night out long after she is hitched- like this sterling silver lariat necklace.

Disco Queens

If your bride to be has a sense of humor, here’s an inexpensive way from halloweencostume.com to make your group stand out in the crowd!

Encourage everyone to dress in 70′s style clothing. You can be silly and sexy at the same time (think high boots, mini skirts, oversized sunglasses…). Present the guest of honor with this disco ball inspired necklace: it’s subtle enough to wear every day and sure to put a smile on her face when she remembers the good times she had on her night out! Priced under $40, everyone might want to buy one as a memento.

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Here are some fun ideas for your bachelor party, bachelorette, bridal shower, engagement party, or jack and jill.

I come across so many Big Fat Fun decorations during my research. Here are some of my favorites, I hope they inspire you to come up with some unique ideas of your own! Let me know, and perhaps I can feature your party in an upcoming article.

Disclaimer: Not all items below will be appropriate for your function – this will depend on your theme, and how casual the event is.

Nosy Guests

Party cups from worldwidefred.com, that give you different noses. This is a fun way to break the ice.

Highlight of the Night

These shot glasses from envious.com light up for 6 seconds every time  you tap it on a hard surface.

Night Lights

Rather than the risk of making a decorated room look to ‘busy’, stick to one simple decoration and use a lot of it. Imagine filling a room or back garden with 25 of these lights from asianlantern.com (at around two dollars each, this is affordable!).

Casino Night

Here is a fun hanging decoration from partymakerdiscountsuperstore.com for a Casino-themed Jack and Jill or Bachelor Party. This would even work for a reception if the couple is going to announce they got married in Las Vegas!

Love Beyond Measure

I love these measuring spoons – a great favor for a bridal shower or a wedding (if the bride and groom work in a bakery?). You can order them from everythingfortablefavors.com.

Gloom Groom

This shirt from thinkgeek.com is perfect for the groom who wakes up on the surly side of the street every morning. If there’s no chance you’ll get him to wear a costume, dirty saying shirt, or anything that remotely identifies him as the guest of honor – have him try this shirt on for size!

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Last week we looked at some fun prizes/gifts for Bachelorette parties and Bridal Showers. This week we feature gift ideas for the guys…

Most of the gifts featured in both of these articles would work well for a Jack and Jill party, too.

The Portable Pole Dancer

Available online at stupid.com, you plug her into your USB port and watch her dance. She also works with an iPod or MP3 player.

BBQ Sauces

You can buy a gift set of barbecue sauces or make your own gift basket, perfect for a bachelor party or jack and jill shower – particularly if the party theme includes grilling. Include tasty bottles of barbecue sauce, hot sauce, and an oven mitt. Stick with the theme and give out a funny apron as another prize.

Cultural Kitsch

Celebrate the groom’s cultural background with fun gifts, just make sure it’s not offensive.

This tee from wackyplanet.com is also the perfectly embarrassing shirt to force the groom to wear out on a pub crawl to Irish pubs!

Jack and Jill party? No problem! They also sell this shirt for the bride to wear.

This book from bachelorette.com is a fun gift, and will also keep the guests entertained during the event – I’m sure it will be passed around.

On a classier note, this sterling silver key ring from danforthdiamond.com is a great grand prize for a group fishing trip. It would also be a great gift from the guys as a memento for the groom of his bachelor party trip.

Fun badges for all of the party guests, available at the-inspirations-store. They also have some other appropriate items, such as collapsible pint glasses, talking coasters, and beer holsters.

These drink coasters from elsewares.com are made from real vinyl records and are perfect for a music lover’s party or a themed party.

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Here are some ideas for party gifts and prizes. Check out the next post for prizes and gifts suitable for Bachelor Parties (Stag parties).

TASTY PRIZES

Big Candy Ring

A big candy engagement ring is tasty bling for a bridal shower or casual engagement party. You can order the one pictured above at kidspartyfavorstore.com.

Novelty Chocolates

Tom and Sally’s Handmade Chocolates (tomandsallys.com) sells chocolate pasties, as well as chocolate thong underwear. The pasties also come with a peanut butter applicator, which I thought was a nice touch.

CLASSY PRIZES

Bracelet

Here’s an amazing grand prize if you are holding a pre-wedding fundraiser. This tiffany-style sterling silver bracelet looks like it is worth a lot more than its $50 price tag and would make a great door prize or grand prize. The heart charm fits into any wedding-related theme.

Charm

Another fun idea – give prizes away at the wedding rehearsal dinner related to the pre-wedding events. This is a fun speech to make at a rehearsal dinner (this is only appropriate if it suits the tone and if everyone there has a sense of humor!). The person acting as the Master of Ceremonies at the wedding reception can give away prizes to members of the wedding party at the rehearsal dinner. For example, he could give the groom a pair of warm woolly socks in case he gets cold feet.  In the example above, an angel charm would be appropriate for the most well-behaved guest at the bachelorette party. The MC could show the prize and say what it was for but then complain that there wasn’t anyone to give it to. Instead, he could give it to the flower girl. This is also a unique and fun way to hand out the wedding party gifts.

Spa Gift Certificate

A spa gift certificate is always appreciated. Everyone likes to get a manicure before the big day, even if they are a guest and not the bride.

FUNNY PRIZES

Magic Frog to a Prince

You can order this cute party gift at stupid.com.

Man Voodoo Doll

Pictured above, the ‘bad boyfriend’ voodooo doll from flashwear.com – complete with 10 pins.

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A recent comment on an old post, ‘Worried About His Bachelor Party?’ inspired today’s post.

Well, Stargazer thank you for taking this article so seriously and taking the time to respond. However, I would like to point out that there are confident, smart women out there who are a bit nervous about the stag party because things can happen. For example I know someone who got slapped in the face with a trout on a fishing trip and showed up at his wedding with two black eyes. Drinks are involved and guests get over exuberant.

A bride to be who is worried that her husband might show up to the wedding with two black eyes is not plagued by low self esteem, she just doesn’t want anything to ruin her big day.

I can think of lots of reasons why she might not want to ‘set ground rules’ or to forbid specific activities and then ask him (and his friends) to respect her feelings. I think healthy relationships should include mature conversations and mutual decisions. And, if that isn’t going to work, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with offering subtle suggestions or guidance to your partner (man or woman) because sometimes that just makes life easier than say, ordering them around. It’s good preparation for a long and peaceful marriage.

By the way, I’d also like to remind any readers out there that a mature and productive debate about a topic should also not include statements like your ideas are “ridiculous”, “get real”, or your ideas are “just plain stupid” – so if you’re going to talk to your guy about his bachelor party, stay away from this kind of language. People are less likely to want to cooperate with you, or listen to your perspective if your tone is condescending or you include insults or name-calling. If someone talked to me that way, I certainly wouldn’t marry them!

And, also, there are definitely places too remote for a stripper – unless they are willing to hike 15 miles into a campsite or kayak down a river with you. Perhaps Stargazer exaggerated for effect (which is very much in the spirit of my original article, so good one!).

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Jack and Jill parties are getting more popular every year but there seems to be some confusion about what this means.

Actually, the term can mean a few different things (some are x-rated) but here we are going to focus on Jack and Jill parties as they relate to weddings!

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Jack and Jill wedding events – basic guidelines

1. The bride and groom are both guests of honor (thus the name).

2. The event is not usually a surprise – the couple may even be involved in the planning.

Jack and Jill Shower

One type of Jack and Jill wedding event is the Jack and Jill shower (in fact there are also Jack and Jill baby showers, too). Contemporary couples think to themselves, ‘why should the bride have all the fun?’

This mixed shower is also great for couples who share the same group of friends or brides who have lots of male friends. The traditional dainty pastries and semi-formal clothing of a bridal shower is replaced by a barbeque, picnic, or house party with blender drinks, beer, and food that will appeal to everyone.

Gifts are ‘his and hers’ items or things that will appeal to both of them, or may be intended to tie in to the party’s theme. Sometimes cash gifts are requested but this isn’t very common and is not really appropriate (requesting gift cards is more acceptable) – see our etiquette tips below for more exceptions to this rule.

Jack and Jill Stag or Bachelor Party

Again, these parties work well if the couple shares the same group of friends. If not, make sure the bride’s friends and the groom’s friends will mix well together (this isn’t always the case).

The venue for this type of Jack and Jill may also be a house party or barbeque, but could also take place at a bar or even take place over a weekend excursion of some kind (camping, renting a houseboat, trip to Las Vegas…).

Jack and Jill Fundraiser

More recently, the Jack and Jill party has been used as an event to raise money for the couple’s wedding expenses. Today many couples pay for their own weddings rather than receiving a budget from the bride’s parents. The maid of honor and best man (or some other family/friend) organizes the event and all proceeds go towards the wedding (or honeymoon) budget. In some cases, the bride and groom organize the event themselves.

Examples: A casino night, a sports tournament (golf, foozball), or a poker tournament. Other options: guests pay a flat fee for drink tickets and a chance to win door prizes at a bar or organizers put a package together for an outing (refreshments, chartered bus, tickets to a concert or game) and build in a profit margin. Popular games for fundraisers are: casino-style games (with play money and prizes for the biggest winners), 50-50 draws, and coin tosses. Wine lotteries can also raise a lot of money (if friends and family are all wine drinkers).

Etiquette:

It is more appropriate to organize a fun event to pay for a wedding than to directly ask family and friends for money, unless the event is raising money for one specific aspect of the event. For example, asking guests not to bring gifts but placing a jar at the Jack and Jill party for donations to the couple’s honeymoon fund is okay. Asking guests to come to the party with extra bottles for the reception so that the couple can provide an open bar might also work. Asking for cash to pay for the wedding rings is not appropriate – these items should be paid for by the wedding couple or their families. Likewise, raising money for anything considered overly extravagant (an ice sculpture, release of doves, etc) would be in poor judgment – it’s important to remember that attending a wedding can already be quite expensive: guests often have to pay for travel expenses, lodging, appropriate attire, the wedding gift, etc.

theplatelady.com

Other definitions of Jack and Jill:

1. A nursery rhyme

2. A cash register.

3. Slang term for the drug Ecstasy.

4. A bathroom that connects two bedrooms.

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This week we pick up with our Las Vegas Series.

In previous installments we interviewed Shawna in our Fun Weddings for Families article and we heard from Tara about how Vegas is The Perfect Stage for a Stagette. This week we get some great advice about planning a trip with a group from Colleen.

Colleen’s advice is valuable for anyone planning a trip with a group of people: whether it’s a stagette, a wedding, or a family vacation.

Colleen and a group of her friends met up in Las Vegas for a bachelorette weekend.

Where did you stay? Who went on the trip?

“We stayed for 3  nights at the Monte Carlo. It was me,  Shawna, and my friend Tracey from Kelowna and my friend Karleen, who lives  in California, joined us a day later.”

What kind of things did you do during your stay?

“Most of the time it  was pretty low key but we had a great night out at Studio 54 at the MGM,  followed up by grilled cheese at a 24hrs Denny’s. We had no real  scheduled activities, the group was pretty small.  No shows or tours  but Shawna and Karleen visitied the [Hoover] dam…We hit a few attractions, saw all the free shows at  the hotels like the sinking of the pirate ship at Treasure Island, which  they still did then.”

Why  did you select Las Vegas?

“I chose Vegas  because it was warmer there, there is always lots going on and I always  wanted to go there with girlfriends instead of a boyfriend.”

Do you have any advice for people considering a similar  event?

“My advice is to  make sure everyone is on the same page about what they want to do and where  they want to go, as there is so much going on in a short time period and not  everyone wants to do the same things as everyone else… One thing I’d do different is to have a better planned schedule  and talk to everyone about the things they wanted to do before arriving in  Vegas.

What was your most memorable moment of the  trip?

“Most memorable  moment was our night out at the MGM, and also a hilarious run through Vancouver airport trying to make a connection after a late  arrival.”

Thanks Colleen!

Here are some tips for Group Vacation Planning

1. Discuss plans before you arrive to make sure everyone has the same vacation in mind.

Do you want to go sightseeing or do you want to relax by the pool? Are you going to Las Vegas for the entertainment, the gambling, or both?

2. Schedule group activities ahead of time.

Based on your conversation, you can buy tickets or make reservations in advance to avoid misunderstandings once you arrive at your destination. Everyone will know what to expect during the trip and no one will be disappointed that they are missing a sold out show or that they can’t have seats that are together… Also, people will arrive with appropriate clothing (swimsuit, hiking boots, tuxedo – depending on your plans).

Extra Tip: Don’t forget to ask about group rates when you are booking your rooms or buying show tickets!

3. Avoid overscheduling.

A few group activities a day is ample – you don’t want to have a plan for every minute of the day or people will feel overscheduled and stressed. Make sure you leave time for individuals in the group to do their own thing. Some people might want to take a nap, others might want to shop or visit the spa.

Stay tuned for some more big fat advice when we look at theme weddings in Part 4 of our Las Vegas Series…

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Today we start a series of features on wedding events in Las Vegas. Perfect timing if it’s cold where you are right now – just think, right now it is a pleasant 62 F (17 C). That’s down right summer weather where I come from!

Not that you have to go outside very much if you’re on the strip. 

During some of the installments of this series I will conduct interviews so you can learn about the Vegas experience from some real people.

The Vegas Bachelorette Trip

First up, my friend Tara shares her experiences.  She went on a Bachelorette trip to Vegas with her engaged friend Roberta and 3 other friends: 

“Roberta was getting married so we picked her up at her house, blindfolded her and drove her around in circles, eventually ending up at the airport.  Security was on us as apparently you aren’t allowed to blindfold people in the airport- so we took off her blind fold and told her that we were all about to board a plane to Vegas!”

What kind of things did you do while you were down there?

We gambled and shopped and drank all weekend to celebrate the “first of us to get married”. We went to one of those Vegas showgirl shows where they wear the tall feathery hats and pasties. We laughed because we all wished we had sat closer to get a better look at how they actually dance and suck in their guts and keep balance on those heels…

Why did you pick Las Vegas?

It’s the party place and it’s cheap to get there and fun once you do get there! Never disappointing.

Do you have any advice for people considering Las Vegas for a bachelorette party? 

Definitely do it if you can. No pub crawl or trip to the spa can top this… except maybe a pub crawl and spa in VEGAS!!!

What was your most memorable moment of the trip? 

All of us from high school getting it together and organizing such a memorable trip for a great friend.

What’s one thing you wish you had known beforehand?

That this was the last time we’d do this for a while… once marriage and kids get in the picture, it’s harder to take off to Vegas with your girlfriends.

Thanks, Tara!

Stay tuned for a feature article on a Las Vegas Wedding, coming soon!

Did you go to Vegas for a stag, stagette or wedding?

We’d love to hear about it at mybigfatengagement – just leave a comment for us below and we’ll be in touch.

And, if you’re on your way to Vegas as we speak – don’t forget to glitz it up! 

I heart Vegas!

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As promised, I am sharing from the positive side of my old copy of “You an Your Wedding” (written by Winifred Gray, first published 1959 – see my earlier post).

The Bridesmaids’ Party

According to this book, the “bridesmaids’ party is usually a luncheon” – it can be hosted by the bride, her mother, the groom’s mother, or a female relative. It takes place a few days before the ceremony and the bride gives out her gifts to her bridesmaids at this time. This sounds nice but I don’t know if it’s that practical because it seems like there are already so many events leading up to a wedding – perhaps this one is too much? If you have the time, it does sound like it would be fun and might be a great alternative if you are feeling pressured to invite your mom to your bachelorette. You can have a tame bridesmaids’ party instead and then a more private bachelorette party (secret, if necessary!).

What I found really interesting however is that there is a ‘”very old but still enjoyable tradition” of serving a cake filled with surprises [You and Your Wedding, page 117].

Now, this is not to be confused with the Stagette or Bachelorette Party, where a muscular male stripper might jump out of a cake. No, no – this is a cake that has been stuffed with the following items:

A dime (for riches)

A ring (for first to be married)

A thimble (the old maid) 

Wishbone (luckiest)

Boat (for travel)

Boy doll (romance)

Girl doll (a rival)

Miniature cow or horse (live in the country)

Of course, if you wanted to combine this tradition with your Bachelor Party you could make the items on the list more interesting (or just change their meanings).

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Hopefully you trust your man 100% if you are going to marry him. But what about his friends? Here are some tips to help you relax while your man parties it up as a single guy for the last time…

Smart Party Pointers for the Bachelorette

1. Plan your Bachelorette for the same night.

You will be so busy have your own good times that you will forget to worry about what your fiance is doing. Ask your Maid of Honor and the Best Man to arrange a meeting of both parties at the end of the night. Your guy won’t want to meet up with you smelling like someone else’s perfume…

2. Make sure your dad, your brother or your best male friend is invited.

Or better yet, get all three invited. Having other guys there to look out for you will keep the party clean.

3. Suggest a bachelor party trip to a remote area instead of one night out on the town.

Say to your man, “A bachelor night? Sounds fun, honey, but why not make it a whole weekend?” Then suggest a weekend canoe trip, challenging hike or offer up your uncle’s cabin. Just make sure it’s far enough out that no stripper will make the trip.

4. Have a ‘Stag and Doe’ Party instead.

Why not whoop it up together? You can have a wild party where you, your fiance and all of your friends get to drink and dance the night away. This idea makes sense if you and your future hubby share the same group of friends. If you don’t, this is a chance for everyone to get acquainted before the big day.

5. Discuss the ground rules before the party planning starts.

Sit down with your man and talk about both parties. Remind him that the guidelines you agree on will apply to both of you (he may think twice about his plans if he starts picturing you doing the same things…) If you are very uncomfortable with strippers, gambling or heavy drinking you can ask him to make other plans. But, remember, it is probably much wiser to set guidelines together rather than making any statements that start with “I forbid you to…”. For example,  a ‘you can look but don’t touch’ rule is more effective than total ban on strippers because a ban is completely out of your control (his friends are planning the party, not your husband, and they may decide to ignore your wishes.) Don’t forget to start this conversation in a relaxed and friendly manner – you may be pleasantly surprised to find out that he totally agrees with all of your concerns. I mean, he has already proposed to you so he’s ready to settle down, right?

5. Ask your man to fill out the following application and submit it to you. Bachelor Party Approval Form

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