A recent comment on an old post, ‘Worried About His Bachelor Party?’ inspired today’s post.

9115_1_S_075Well, Stargazer thank you for taking this article so seriously and taking the time to respond. However, I would like to point out that there are confident, smart women out there who are a bit nervous about the stag party because things can happen. For example I know someone who got slapped in the face with a trout on a fishing trip and showed up at his wedding with two black eyes. Drinks are involved and guests get over exuberant.

A bride to be who is worried that her husband might show up to the wedding with two black eyes is not plagued by low self esteem, she just doesn’t want anything to ruin her big day.

I can think of lots of reasons why she might not want to ‘set ground rules’ or to forbid specific activities and then ask him (and his friends) to respect her feelings. I think healthy relationships should include mature conversations and mutual decisions. And, if that isn’t going to work, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with offering subtle suggestions or guidance to your partner (man or woman) because sometimes that just makes life easier than say, ordering them around. It’s good preparation for a long and peaceful marriage.

By the way, I’d also like to remind any readers out there that a mature and productive debate about a topic should also not include statements like your ideas are “ridiculous”, “get real”, or your ideas are “just plain stupid” – so if you’re going to talk to your guy about his bachelor party, stay away from this kind of language. People are less likely to want to cooperate with you, or listen to your perspective if your tone is condescending or you include insults or name-calling. If someone talked to me that way, I certainly wouldn’t marry them!

And, also, there are definitely places too remote for a stripper – unless they are willing to hike 15 miles into a campsite or kayak down a river with you. Perhaps Stargazer exaggerated for effect (which is very much in the spirit of my original article, so good one!).

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