Getting Married? Need Engagement Advice? Listen up.
The current economical situation in the US has left some of us with financial burdens. This has me wondering- what are some options for a wedding that is taking place during difficult times?
A death in the family, a serious illness, a natural disaster, a loss of employment – the casualties of normal every day life do not stop just because you’re getting married. They can leave you financially and emotionally unable to have the wedding as planned.
The main thing everyone should do is – take care of yourself and your family first. Don’t worry about what the guests are going to think, you want to get married under the right circumstances for you and your fiance so that your marriage will be healthy.
Some of these options will work better than other options, depending on your situation.
If your wedding is far enough away that you think it is appropriate, go ahead with your plans.
If you’ve lost a loved one, consider paying tribute by including a photo of them at the ceremony. My dad passed away three years before my wedding took place and we included old wedding photos of both sets of parents at the guest book table. You want to honor the memory of your loved one, but remember a wedding is supposed to be a happy event so be careful to avoid long tearful speeches on behalf of the person. And setting a place for them at one of the tables may creep the other guests out.
If you’re optimistic that your financial problems won’t be an issue by the time your wedding day arrives, continue on. However, maybe you want to cancel the live doves you were going to let go during the ceremony, the gigantic ice sculpture of the happy couple, or any other over-the-top aspects to your plans.
In the case of serious illness or death, many of the vendors you are dealing with may be more understanding and allow you to postpone the dates you’ve booked.
Perhaps you want the closeness and comfort of marriage more than ever due to your circumstances. In this case, you can still get married but just cancel the reception. Or, you can postpone the reception – just send out a wedding announcement informing everyone of your private wedding in the face of your personal tragedy. Let them know a party will come later – don’t worry about a date, you can figure that out once life settles down a bit.
Cancel the Event Indefinitely
Perhaps your current situation has made you look at life differently (and at marriage as well). If so, you can cancel the event entirely and rethink your relationship with your fiance. If this is the direction you are leaning towards I would also recommend that you seek some expert advice or counseling (your parents, your pastor, a marriage counsellor). Just to make sure that recent events are not going to be an obstacle to your future happiness.
If invitations have already gone out you need to send out cards with new information. Even if invitations haven’t gone out you should consider sending out a note if your upcoming wedding was public knowledge so that friends and family don’t think the wedding happened and they just weren’t invited. On the other hand, if only a few people knew about your plans, a phone call would be fine.
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